Making life changes is often hard. Sometimes we launch ourselves on a new life course by committing ourselves to particular course of action, which once launched, takes on a life of its own. These life changes include applying to medical school, applying to residency or fellowship in a particular medical field, deciding to emigrate to a new country, and / or getting married. Once we’ve taken the initial steps, “the process” takes over: we follow whatever the predetermined steps are. It’s like stepping on a movable walkway. You can get off, but you might get hurt.

Other life changes do not have the benefits (or downsides) of entering such a guided path. These include lifestyle changes, such as eating healthier, sleeping better or more, exercising more, working less or differently, or interacting differently with family members of friends. These types of changes often are less guided by outside rules or forces, more solitary in their execution, and more dependent on your individual ongoing control and motivation.

Since we are now early in the second half of 2023, this may be an opportune time to revisit – or make new – resolutions. So, here are some tips to improve your chances of success:

  • Choose One Thing to Change. It is sooo tempting to think, “It makes sense to do a full make-over. I’ll eat better, start exercising, and ensure my sleep is better – starting today! After all, these changes are interrelated and will reinforce one another.” If this type of global approach to change has worked for you in the past, please continue. If, however, it has not led to success, don’t be surprised or discouraged. When making several changes at once, initially it may work: you have an increased focus on “the new you” and maintain awareness of the various aspects of a new lifestyle. The problem with this approach tends to surface a few short weeks into it. You will inevitably suffer a setback to your change initiative – as will everyone – and pig out, lapse in your exercise routine, or stay up late watching TV. It is at that point that the global change approach tends to collapse. There are just too many parts to it that require attention and continued motivation. Whereas initially all the positive changes were mutually reinforcing, the inevitable stumbles and drop offs become mutually reinforcing too, a situation in which a setback in one area can lead to loss of motivation and control in other areas. So, again, please consider implementing one change at a time.
  • Choose Something Easy. By easy I mean limited in scope and time commitment, easily fitting into your schedule and existing routines, and not requiring superhuman levels of control and motivation. Let me highlight the “fitting into your existing routines.” I like to implement changes that are just “a step away” from my existing routines and habits. An example is choosing to walk upstairs rather than taking the elevator. In this scenario, I am not walking up and down stairs simply for exercise. I am instead using a means of locomotion to get to where I need to go. In such cases, the motivation is at least partly intrinsic to the situation – I am walking upstairs because that’s where I need to be. Another example is changing your diet and calorie intake by limiting everything you drink every day to zero or low-calorie drinks. It’s now become clear that diet drinks don’t work. So, choosing low calorie drinks means choosing tea, coffee, or flavored or carbonated water with little or no sweeteners. In this example one is a step away from what one already does, which is to eat and drink throughout the day. One can simply choose a different drink to what has become accustomed to.
  • Make it a communal project. I like to take walks in the morning. When I walk, I like to be alone and not listen to podcasts or read stuff on my phone. I treat it like form of meditation. I notice there are some people walking who seem to be doing what I’m doing. I also notice that there are many other people taking a different approach. They are walking or jogging in pairs and often chatting while doing so. I think that this pairing off or doing things in groups is a great motivator for many people. You can join a group of friends or establish a new group interested in adding a daily routine of walking, jogging, cycling, or working out. Or you can join professionally run groups, like in a health club. And, by the way, if you’ve previously signed up to a health club but sooner or later dropped off, consider signing up again only if you join a workout group there.
  • Share your commitment with others. Let your family and friends know what change you’re implementing to increase your sense of commitment to the change and also embarrassment if you drop off your commitment. People who love you can help you maintain your motivation.
  • Add a second change only once your first change has become habitual. Treat change like a muscle. Start slow, consolidate those initial small changes, and incrementally add further changes. But don’t rush. In business there is the well-known phenomenon called “hockey stick” growth, which refers to the shape of a graph of a company’s growth (on y-axis) versus time (on x-axis). What you see is that a company may show little growth at the beginning and, if it survives long enough, show dramatic growth after this initial slow growth period. You can imagine that in that initial phase the management is establishing its procedures, its brand positioning, and trying (and failing) at new approaches, until one day, they hit on a winning strategy. Examples include Starbuck’s Coffee and the store Crate and Barrel. I think something like this also occurs during a person’s process of change. So, don’t be discouraged if your initial efforts seem underwhelming to you. Keep at it as consistently as you can. One day the changes are likely to become visible and dramatic.

Until next time,

Dr. Jack

LanguageBrief

“The world as we have created it is a process of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking.”– Albert Einstein
“I am a slow walker, but I never walk back.” – Abraham Lincoln
“Real change is slow, hard, and imperceptible.” – Lindy West
“Success is a slow process and quitting does not speed it up.” – Jeffrey Fry
“The present changes the past. Looking back you do not find what you left behind.” – Kiran Desai